This is the "because I told you so" parent who is likely to degrade a child and ignore the child’s point of view.
Authoritarian parenting is extremely strict. Parents expect kids to follow the rules with no discussion or compromising. Parents use this approach for many reasons. Many choose this style because of their nationality, culture or ethical backgrounds dictate it. Also, it may be the way they were raised and don’t know any other way. Finally, they believe ruling with an iron fist is the best way to keep kids in line and under control.
This parenting style involves:
- Having strict rules that must be followed. Children are punished if rules are not followed. Punishment is usually harsh and punitive. It can become abusive, physically and emotionally.
- Orders that are to be followed, often without explanation. “Because I said so!”
- Parents that feel that obedience equals love.
- Open communication is generally not an option in this style of parenting.
- There is typically no give and take, and will exert complete and total control over the family.
This type of parenting doesn’t work. Boundaries and expectations are healthy and recommended, but need to be balanced with love, warmth and respect for the child.
The negative side effects to this type of parenting include:
- Children are aggressive, but can also be socially inept, shy and cannot make their own decisions.
- Children in these families have poor self-esteem, are poor judges of character and will rebel against authority figures when they are older.
- Children will model the behavior shown to them by their parents while with their peers and as future parents themselves.
- Children rarely learn to think on their own.
- Children have a difficult time managing their anger and are very resentful.
This style is low in parental responsiveness and high in parental demandingness. Authoritarian parents are not very emotional or affectionate, and critical of their children if they fail to meet their expectations. Rules should always be used to conduct behavior that is desired. When a child breaks a rule, it should be an opportunity to teach a life lesson and not be punished because they didn’t follow the rules. Unfortunately, strong punishment leads to more misbehavior, rebellion and results in constant power struggles.
This type of parenting does not support positive parenting. In fact, research shows that children with authoritarian parents perform more poorly than kids with permissive parents. For a better parenting option, learn more about the authoritative type parenting style that allows children to be independent thinkers, self-regulate their emotions and are successful, happy and successful. Authoritative parents show high levels of warmth andcontrol. For more information on each parenting style, click on one of the styles below:
- The authoritarian parent. This is the "because I told you so" parent who is likely to degrade a child and ignore the child’s point of view.
- The authoritative parent. This is a mom or dad who sets carefully defined limits for children, the one who is a good role model and praises children for their efforts.
- The permissive parent. This is the parent who is afraid to set limits on children or believes a child has to be true to his or her own nature.
- The overprotective parent. This is the parent who wants to protect their children from harm, hurt and pain, unhappiness, bad experiences and rejection, hurt feelings, failure and disappointments.
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Authoritarian parenting is an extremely strict parenting style. It places high expectations on children with little responsiveness. As an authoritarian parent, you focus more on obedience, discipline, control rather than nurturing your child. Mistakes tend to be punished harshly and when feedback does occur, it’s often negative. Yelling and
corporal punishment are also common. Authoritarian parents punish children for failures while ignoring their achievements. They expect the child not to make mistakes and to obey them. However, the children they raise are typically good at following rules. Socializing your children to the values and expectations of your culture is one of the major roles of parenting. However, if you’re an authoritarian parent, you may have your own expectations of your child that are contrary to what your child wants. Other characteristics that may help to bring out authoritarian traits in your parenting style include: You show
little warmth or effort to nurture. Sometimes children can be truant, but that doesn’t allow you to become cold, unfriendly, and harsh towards your children. Instead of yelling at them, offer your kids the encouragement and praise they need to develop self-esteem and self-worth. You default to shaming instead of positive reinforcement. Good parenting should have you instill good morals through a process that considers your child’s emotions. If
you find yourself causing feelings of shame to compel your children to follow rules, you might be practicing authoritarian parenting. It’s important to know that shaming may lead to children having a bad attitude towards you. It also weakens the bond between you and a child, as they may want to avoid spending time with you. You’re impatient with misbehavior. As an authoritarian parent, you may not expect your children to engage in
undesirable behavior. It’s difficult for you to accommodate a tolerant relationship with your child. Since you believe you know better, you may also lack the patience to explain to your children why they should avoid certain behavior. Instead, you spend little or no energy at all thinking about your kid’s perspective.Characteristics of Authoritarian Parents
You have trust
issues. Are you the kind of parent who doesn’t trust your children to make good choices? If you are, it’s time to change your parenting style. Children brought up by authoritarian parents don’t have the freedom to show that they can display good behavior. When you are always watching a child to ensure they don't make mistakes, you limit them from making decisions on their own. As a result, your child fails to face natural consequences for their choices which serve as valuable life
lessons. You show no feelings or empathy. An authoritarian parent doesn’t empathize or show feelings for their kids. If you make no effort to entertain or understand your child’s emotions, it communicates insensitivity and lack of concern. Being such a parent will cause your children to emulate such behavior, treating others without regard for how they feel. Parenting
styles have been associated with a variety of child outcomes including social skills and academic performance. The consequences of authoritarian parenting are more negative than positive. Below are some of the negative effects: Effects of Authoritarian Parenting on A Child
Although authoritarian parenting is associated with negative outcomes, there are some possible positive outcomes. They include:
- Children develop a desire to do things the right way. Due to constant nagging and reinforcement by parents, children will always want to do good. It may be due to fear of punishment or a result of being conditioned to behave in a certain way.
- Parents raise more responsible children. Children hardly think about doing wrong things, since they get used to following rules. The habit becomes so strong that it continues through their adult life.
- Children may turn out to be more goal driven. Authoritarian parents are specific about rules and how a child is expected to behave. As a result, their children are more likely to be more focused on everything they do which leads to giving their best.
Regardless of any perceived benefits of authoritarian parenting, it’s far better to be accommodating with your children. Change begins with admitting you don’t know everything there is to know about parenting. Getting as much information as possible about how to bring up a child the right way will go a long way toward making you a better parent.